Christmas 2017

In what is now a Borrovian tradition members of the Society met at the Golden Lion, King Street, London.  It was very good to see everyone, and chat up on what’s been happening: whilst it’s only been a few months since we were at the Golden Lion for Colm’s book launch there was no lack of talk.  Neither was there a lack of food, as we had one extra meal: if only you had been there...

Some members at the 2017 George Borrow Christmas Meal at the
Golden Lion, King Street, London

The crackers had the usual bad jokes and it reminded me of a range of season’s jokes from the Chelsea News of 22 December 1866, when George and Mary were in Brompton, and may well of enjoyed the humour of the day.  There’s lots of interesting pieces from the Brompton Newspapers, see our Brompton newspapers page.

Christmas Plum Pudding Digesters.

[Note these are transcribed exactly as they appear in the newspaper, which clearly felt some readers might need things explaining.]

When was beef tea manufactured upon a large scale in England?—When Henry the Eighth dissolved the Pope’s Bull.

When does a man devour a musical instrument?—when he has a pianoforte (Piano for tea).

Why are crows sensible birds?—because they never complain without caws.

What kind of wine is both meat and drink?—Old port, with a crust.

Why should a man when he’s eating salt fish on Good Friday take no egg sauce with it?—Because his appetite would be egg-sauce-ted (exhausted).

Why is a soldier like the vine?—Because he is ’listed, trained, has ten-drills, and shoots.

Why is a thief in a garret like an honest man?—Because he is above doing a wrong action.

Why is a man searching for the philosopher’s stone like Neptune?—Because he’s a sea-king (seeking) what never was.

Why did the accession of Victoria throw a greater damper over England than the death of King William?—Because the King was missed (mist) whilst the Queen was raining (reigning.)

Why is a fender like Westminster Abbey?—Because it contains the ashes of the great (grate).

Why should a gouty man make his will?—That he might have his leg-at-ease (legatees).

When may a gentleman’s estates be said to be consist of feathers?—When they are all entails (Hen Tails.)

Why is a young lady at work like another doing wrong?—Because she is mis(s) employed.

When is a sick man like a leg of pork?—When he is cured.

Why is your nose like T in abilities?—Because it is between two eyes.

Why are clothes hung out on a line a railway train?—Because they are on the “line.”

When is a man like something borrowed?—When he’s alone (a loan.)

When is a piece of roast beef like a good action?—When it is well done.

If a tree shaken by the wind happens to smash a pane of glass, what might it say to the tree?—Tree-mend-us.

When does a good natured man resemble a soldier?—When  he stands a-tease.

Why does an aching tooth impose silence upon the sufferer?—Because it makes him hold his jaw.